Technicolor Tuesday - The South - Part 1

When I first moved to the South I was floored at the amount of amazing photo opportunities. Seriously amazing stuff I couldn’t make up. (But sort of wish I had.) Calling home and telling my BFF, "You won't BELIEVE what I saw today!" became a regular thing. Since the absolute weirdest stuff showed up almost daily I started carrying a camera around at all times. I would frequently scream over to the side of the road to capture a funny sign, a funny person or a funny, well, object d’art. Seems this is a good place to start sharing my collection.

Remember, folks: I couldn't make this stuff up. (And I don't own Photoshop.)



Captured near my house... Yes, that's a small mailbox being overshadowed by a VERY LARGE mail box. Art?


One of my all-time fave pics, I wish it had come out better. This ancient sign advertises a "Things That Pour" exhibit. I didn't stop in to see if that included pitchers and watering cans.


Petticoat! Junction!



Again, we didn't stop to find out if you could actually get human hair with your chicken wings but it's a pretty good bet that there might be some truth in advertising here.

Whatcha' Cookin' Wednesday - "Children"

Who knew that the witch in Grimm's Hansel and Gretel was a foodie? And that trolls and ogres were fans of the culinary arts? It's a little known fact that these much misunderstood groups have pioneered some of the most beloved eats of our time. Fois gras? An ogre invention... Beef Wellington? The witches own that one. Baked Alaska? The trolls perfected that.

Unfortunately, for centuries they've also been irreversibly castigated for a seemingly barbaric act: cooking and eating children.

I say they just had good taste. All true gastronomes know that children are absolutely delicious.

You can find several recipes for children on the internet, mostly involving some sort of stew or a quick boil to render the fat to be used in other recipes. I've found the very best way is cook children is to roast them. Simple, easy and so yummy! And it's a plus if you have a set of twins to cook. (It's nice to have a spare in case you flub the first one up.)

Enjoy! Cheers to witches everywhere!

CHILDREN
Ingredients:


1 large 3-year old boy (or petite 3-year old girl, redheads are sweetest)
3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
Salt and freshly ground black pepper
A few sprigs fresh tarragon, rosemary, or thyme (optional)
5 or 6 cloves garlic, peeled (optional, but helps to mellow the flavor of a particularly precocious child.)
Chopped fresh herbs for garnish


Heat the oven to 450°F. Five minutes after turning on the oven, put a cast-iron or other heavy ovenproof skillet on a rack set low in the oven. Rub the children with the olive oil, sprinkle with salt and pepper, and cover in herb sprigs, if you're using them.

When both oven and pan are hot, 10 or 15 minutes later, carefully put the children, breast side up, in the hot skillet; if you're using garlic, scatter it around the kids. Roast, undisturbed, for 40 to 50 minutes or until an instant-read thermometer inserted in the meaty part of the thigh registers 155–165°F.

Transfer the kids to a platter and let it rest. Garnish, and serve with a HUGE glass of wine.

(This recipe works REALLY well with chicken too. Happy April Fools Day!)

New Art

This sums it all up rather nicely, I think:




Thank you, Edgewood Target.



Now I smile even wider everytime I come downstairs to the kitchen.

I'm in it for the money

When Make-Believe is Reality

It’s been a busy week.

By Tuesday I had already taken a swim in the ocean, ridden a train, tamed two horses and taught someone how to fly.

On Thursday I chased down about a dozen school buses (lost count), had a picnic with champagne and pizza and chased away some monsters. I also starred on a cooking show, explored a secret tunnel, rode motorcycles and went camping.

Yesterday I prevented a butterfly from hitting his head on the ceiling and went on a wild turkey hunt. And then I dined with a fireman and a pink bunny.

Right now? I'm signing off so I can take an astronaut to the potty.

Outta the Mouth of Mama

Things I've actually said recently to the kiddos :

"If you're not careful you'll slip and crack your head open and your brain will fall out."
(It's the best I could come up with at the time...)


"Get your hand OUT of your bottom. ALL THE WAY OUT."
(I'm not going into detail on this one in case of the kiddos gets their mitts on this in the future and I have to pay my way out of it...)


"If you don't start behaving I will put. you. in. a.... JAR."
(In all fairness, this was said around 4 a.m during a very sleepy moment.... and I didn't follow through... )


"Please don't use that toothbrush on your penis."
(We let them brush their teeth after the nightly shower or bath.. They enjoy it. Sometimes it get a little out of hand...)


"S, get over here and let me adjust that tutu."
(O.k., so he likes to wear the occasional tutu. SO what... My only concern is that he wears it correctly...)


"Please don't wear your bathing suit on your head."
(I lost this battle. Behold:)

The Bathing Beauty

A diversion... Monkey-style!

And now a break from road trip preparations:

I give you....

SOCK MONKEYS!!!

Show me your MONKEYS!!!

An early Christmas present... They may be the perfect road companions for my little monkeys. (S has already named his "Bucky.")

Keywords - what what??

I’m a tech-friendly kind of gal, but most of the time I still find technology totally mind-blowing. And maybe a little scary… Seriously, when someone from 18-years ago can find me online it gives me pause. (This has happened more than once in the last week and a half. Hello, Facebook.)

It’s also enabled me to take my journal online (hello, Blogger) so that I have a record of this time in my life, and so do my kiddos.

I started this blog for a bunch of reasons. Mostly for the aforementioned record of history but to also let other parents of multiples know that they are not alone. Our stories are largely the same and I thought that even if one mom or dad found some support that it was a good thing. Since I co-founded a large “parents of multiples” club in my area I knew that our members might read my stuff. But I guess I never really thought that complete strangers might stumble across my blog, or even find it marginally interesting. But they have. And they’re from all over – Vancouver, Michigan, Florida, India, etc..

Today I thought it might be fun to see how people find me on the web. And I pulled up the keywords that people have used in Google that direct them to my blog.

Yikes.

The goods:

"do chickens like to play with toys"
“coke boston butt”
“she skinned her knee”
“daycare sick”
“hairstylist coke blog”

Zoinks.

Some of these might make a little sense (I did write about J skinning her knee, a recipe about Boston Butt and the Mommy Wars as they relate to daycare) but really, someone was searching for “chickens that like to play with toys?” Someone actually put all those words together and plugged them into Google? And MY BLOG came up? Weird. (And maybe a little awesome.)

There's no doubt that the “hairstylist coke blog” search is super-crazy weird, right? For Pete's sake... That's not even CLOSE.

The End of the Poop Initiative - Cheerio!

For those of you that want an update on The Poop Initiative:

I've estimated that over the next year we'll save about $438. in diapers.

YAY!

I would HIGHLY recommend the "No Pants Day!" strategy and go cold, um, turkey for a few days until, um, success is had.

The kiddos wear diapers at night and naps and have the occasional slip during the day but I think we can safely call The Poop Initative a done deal.

Now to get Sam to aim for the Cheerio....

A mother's work is never done...

(I can't WAIT for them to read this blog someday... WAY more embarassing than naked baby pics in the bathtub. Maybe I can arrange for this to be played during their respective wedding receptions...)

Bunnies and Firemen

(In light of today's election I need to think happy thoughts and there's not much that's happier than kiddos dressing up for Halloween. Right? Right. So here's a post-Halloween post to keep things light and HAPPY. Gosh darn it.)


I think that all parents must think this at one time or another,

"Did we really make such cuteness?!?"


Holy mackerel. I just can't stand it. The cute factor is WAY off the charts.

Up until about a week before Halloween Sam was asking to be either an excavator or an elephant. (Just for the record, I'm always up for a challenge and am pretty crafty but for the life of me I could not figure out how to make an excavator costume.) Janie also wanted to be an elephant for a short period of time but then insisted on being a Pink Bunny. Not just a bunny. Or a rabbit. But a PINK BUNNY. But she wouldn't wear ears. And, up until Halloween night, wouldn't wear a nose or whiskers. So basically her costume was "Cute Little Girl in Pink Leggings with Matching Pink turtleneck."

With a pom-pom on her butt.

Sam's "Fireman Sam" costume consisted of about a roll and a half of yellow duct tape and a navy-blue oxford shirt that was about 2 sizes too big. Voila! Fireman's coat!

It was a hit, and Target was selling Fireman rain boots this year which completed the outfit perfectly. Danger Dad added the soot (yes, it's actual soot, OF COURSE) as a final touch.

As with nearly all aspects of our life, I totally forgot about me. (Which is clearly evidenced in the above pic.) This happens with doctors appointments, eating, and well, just about everything else. I tend to take care of everyone else and put myself last. It's a good thing that I have an abundance of dress-up stuff and general junk. And magic markers. (Couldn't find any eyeliner.) Instant bunny.



I think Danger Dad missed his calling. He is one hot Fireman.

The obligatory "100 things"

In keeping with bloggy tradition here is my “100 Things About Me” list. It might explain some of the stuff you read here every once in a while.

Might.

(No promises.)

1. I’m from a small town in Northern California.
2. I am the youngest of two.
3. My family had a red VW bus.
4. We went camping a lot.
5. And traveled Europe.
6. Also in a VW van.
7. I’m a Gemini.
8. My favorite color is red.
9. My nickname in Jr. High was “Hollywood.”
10. In 8th grade I was voted “Most Likely To Be A Solid Gold Dancer.”
11. I was proud of this honor.
12. I’ve always been very social.
13. I went to nine proms.
14. I *did not* put out.
15. I kept all the corsages.
16. I never took the SAT.
17. I was very good at soccer but chose dance instead.
18. I was a cheerleader.
19. I sang in a band.
20. We called ourselves, “Rapid Fire!”
21. We weren’t very good.
22. But we did awesome Pat Benatar covers.
23. I was the only freshman in the high school talent show.
24. My first rock concert was the B-52’s.
25. I broke my toe while slam dancing to “Rock Lobster.”
26. It was totally worth it.
27. My high school drama teacher told me that I didn’t have any talent.
28. I sent her a thank you note after I got accepted to the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York City.
29. My nickname in college was “Gidget.”
30. I lived near the beach and went nearly every day.
31. We used to bring kegs home on my skateboard.
32. I once fell asleep while riding my bike to work.
33. I worked at a coffeehouse in college and had to bake muffins at 5 a.m.
34. I think I was still drunk.
35. I fell out of a two-story window.
36. And only received 5 stitches.
37. I think I was still drunk.
38. I was on “The Dating Game.”
39. I won.
40. The prize was a trip to Xtapa, Mexico.
41. I went on the trip but ditched the date and stayed for 3 weeks.
42. I attended the Academy Awards in 1986.
43. Bette Davis was awarded the Lifetime Achievement Oscar that same year.
44. Bette Davis is my all-time, hands-down favorite actress.
45. I own Bette Davis’ brass headboard.
46. I bought it at her estate auction while living in NYC.
47. My roommate and I brought it home on the subway.
48. After that purchase I ate Top Ramen and beans for nearly a month.
49. I once passed out from dehydration while in the middle of a play.
50. I was playing Cinderella.
51. I got a standing ovation.
52. I have tattoos.
53. One of them is on top of the other.
54. I had a pierced nose.
55. And a pierced belly button.
56. I’ve had many jobs.
57. I used to sell digital printing services.
58. And manage an eclectic restaurant.
59. And run a flower stand.
60. And for a little bit I sold beach glass jewelry at craft fairs.
61. And I had a great run as an actress.
62. I got my first acting job when I was 9.
63. My longest career has been in public relations.
64. I’ve done that for 13 years.
65. I worked for the agency that launched the iMac, Yahoo! and Pixar during the dot com heyday.
66. It was awesome.
67. We didn’t know that we were making history.
68. I married my husband nearly 11 years after we first met.
69. His nickname back then was “Malibu.”
70. We call him “Danger Dad” now.
71. We met while I was performing in a show in Galveston, TX.
72. He was my boss.
73. He had no idea what he was getting in to.
74. *I* had no idea what I was getting in to.
75. We took a 4 year break.
76. It was fun but I missed him.
77. We got married less than one year after we started dating again.
78. We’ve been married for 9 years.
79. Some people say that we look alike.
80. I used to climb rocks. Big rocks.
81. I’ve climbed in the ‘Gunks, all over Northern and Southern California, Texas and many places in between.
82. We have a climbing wall in our basement.
83. I’m a self-professed Foodie even though I hate the word “Foodie.”
84. I’m a recipe tester for Cook’s Illustrated magazine.
85. We spent two weeks with Tony Robbins in Hawaii. THAT Tony Robbins.
86. He’s a giant weirdo.
87. I’ve spent some time with BB King on his tour bus.
88. He’s awesome.
89. I read the obits every Wed.-Sun.
90. I do a crossword every day.
91. I always knew that I would have twins.
92. My grandmother is a twin.
93. My maternal grandmother has twin brothers.
94. My cousin has triplets.
95. My nephews are twins.
96. I am surrounded by twins.
97. I co-founded the Parents of Multiples Club in my city.
98. We have about 130 paid families with at least 2 new families joining every week.
99. I tandem breast-fed my twins.
100. It was a freak show.
101. But totally worth it.
102. I worry about being a good mom.
103. I’m just now realizing that there are way more than 100 things to list so I’m going to list 110 things.
104. I thought I would have at least five children.
105. I want my children to have an awesome childhood.
105. And overall awesome *life.*
106. I am certain that I could kill someone with my bare hands if they ever laid a finger on either of my children.
107. I hope to be my children's friend some day.
108. I really love being a mom. It's magic.
109. It's the hardest thing I have EVER done.
110. I want to make a difference. (That's kind a trite way to end this but it's true.)

What are your 100 things... (or maybe your Top Ten...?)

Depot vs. Disney

I beg to disagree with you, Mr. Disney. Home Depot is the Happiest Place on Earth.

Of course now I have to figure out how to create backhoe costumes for Halloween...

Born to be Wild

They told me they were riding motorcycles.

I asked if they needed helmets.

They said yes.




I guess we can add another use for the lowly but appreciated dish towel.

More rules

More timeless wisdom

So *why* isn't this correct?