Mommy Wars

Facebook has always seemed pretty benign to me.

Until a friend posted this link from the Wall St. Journal on her page and all hell broke loose.

Should children be put in pre-school or daycare? Is it helpful or harmful?

The conversations that followed bordered on vitriolic. And definitely veered off-topic.

A conversation weighing the pros and cons of daycare/pre-school became, "Are you less of a mom if you put your kids in pre-school or daycare? Is that the best decision for your children?"

Working moms vs. Stay–at-Home moms. The Mommy Wars are alive and well.

I had a Director-level job before S & J. I had a very successful 13-year career in a field that I loved. But it never occurred to me that I would continue working outside the home when I had babies. Never. I always knew that my new job would be “mom” and I would treat that new position with as much gusto, commitment and creativity as I did previous jobs.

But I know that most working moms really struggle with this. And feel guilty and sometimes angry and so, so torn over making the decision to work outside the home, especially in the early years. And then feel the need to defend their decision. In fact, those defenses seem to always be up and ready to rumble.

At times I’ve been tempted to defend mine.

Former colleagues have questioned why I went to college or worked so hard at my career if I was “just going to be a mom.”

Ouch. JUST be a mom.

Incredulous tone: “How could I stay home with the kids all day? Don’t I miss being in the outside world? Don’t I miss making a difference?!”

Then it dawned on me that they just don’t get it. There is no malice involved. And I don’t defend my choice. There is no need.

If I am pressed to respond I just say that I couldn’t imagine it any other way.