Read My Chest

One day not so long ago I realized that I'd somehow gotten frumpy.

Me, of red patent leather stilettos and so many cool shoes I can't count 'em all.. Me, wearer of 1950's vintage swimsuits, just because I can... Me, the one with the different hairstyle every week… Me, slick-suited PR maven... Me, of the thousand different shades of red lipstick…

What the hell happened?

My uniform morphed from interesting and unique to Old Navy couture. This is a natural progression, right? Skinny jeans give way to Mommy jeans? Ack. Not me. And yet, I had somehow because that mom.

But I was saved. Well, sort of.

My friend and neighbor writes an awesomely cool column and gave me one of her swag tees. I wore it proudly in my suburban ‘hood. I got smiles. And comments. And ATTENTION. Nice. That hadn’t happened in months. At least not since the kiddos were born. (Twins are a magnet for folks and the mom is quickly invisible. I’m not jealous of S and J. But I do miss being visible to the naked eye.)

So I decided to create a few tees of my own.

And now I’m visible again.

These will soon be for sale on Etsy. I hope they can help bring more folks into focus. And have fun while they’re doing it.

Some other tee messages include (yeah, they're TM'ed):
- This mommy needs a wife
- You can’t even imagine what I do all day
- Silence is golden, duct tape is silver

And for twin moms:
- Free knuckle sandwich to the fool that says “Double Trouble”
- Twins run in my family (yeah, right)
- Twin moms rock twice as hard
- Yes, they were naturally conceived Yes, that’s the rudest question in the world

And if you're pregger with twins:
- Twins: Buy one, get one free
- Fertile²
- Their conception is none of your business.

Whaddya think? "Dumb, dumb, dumb?" Or "Go for it, lady! Ride that Message T-shirt trend!"