Outta the Mouth of Mama

Things I've actually said recently to the kiddos :

"If you're not careful you'll slip and crack your head open and your brain will fall out."
(It's the best I could come up with at the time...)


"Get your hand OUT of your bottom. ALL THE WAY OUT."
(I'm not going into detail on this one in case of the kiddos gets their mitts on this in the future and I have to pay my way out of it...)


"If you don't start behaving I will put. you. in. a.... JAR."
(In all fairness, this was said around 4 a.m during a very sleepy moment.... and I didn't follow through... )


"Please don't use that toothbrush on your penis."
(We let them brush their teeth after the nightly shower or bath.. They enjoy it. Sometimes it get a little out of hand...)


"S, get over here and let me adjust that tutu."
(O.k., so he likes to wear the occasional tutu. SO what... My only concern is that he wears it correctly...)


"Please don't wear your bathing suit on your head."
(I lost this battle. Behold:)

The Bathing Beauty